Review Funerus - Reduced to Sludge 2011

Tracks
1. Behind The Door
2. Corroded
3. The Comfort In Depression
4. Bedpan Commando
5. Reduced To Sludge
6. Leatherface
7. Death Of A God
8. Create / Destroy
9. Sound Of Oil
10. Time Of Death
11. E. Histolytica

Band:
Jill McEntee (Bass, Vocals)
John McEntee (Guitars, Vocals)
Sam Inzerra (Drums)

Discography:
Festering Earth (2003)

Guests:

Info
Sam Inzerra, Jim Roe and John McEntee (engineer)
guitars were recorded at Neanderthal Studios in Plainfield, New Jersey
bass and vocals were recorded at Aries Studio in Johnstown, Pennsylvania
mixed and mastered by Dan Swanö
Dusty Peterson (cover art)

Released 22/11-2011
Reviewed 16/11-2011

Links:
funerus.com
myspace
last-fm
ibex moon

You can't really say I've written the releases of Ibex Moon Records in my diary so that I can camp outside the record stores everytime a new album is released through this label and get them as soon as they're released. Ibex moon Records is a label I normally try to keep as far away as possible from (though that is normally harder than it sounds as I'm normally the one set on reviewing the releases through this label on Hallowed), since most of what's released by this label is toxic gas and long strains of excrements. But then we get an album from this American band, produced by Mr. Edge Of Sanity, Dan Swanö - whom has put his name on great albums as 'Morningrise' by Opeth and the EP 'Skauch' by Millencollin as well as collaborated with almost everything from Evergrey to Dark Funeral. Maybe, just maybe, then this will be decent? Sigh… I hate to be disappointed!

Now to appreciate Funerus I'd guess you have to have some sort or dysfunction in your ear, which is having a negative effect on your hearing. It's almost a demand on you to have at least half of your brain replaced by kleenex napkins painted yellow with diarrhea deer dropping or complete invalidation in your music sense. This is, by quite a large margin, one of the worst things I've heard all this year, despite bands like Kaoteon, TotalSelfhatred and Denial Fiend already has polluted the great music year of 2011 as much as I could imagine someone could. But 'reduced To Sludge' is quite easily beating them there as the worst piece of shit dropped this year! I guess you want to know why I say so, and I will give you a full explanation below…

To Be Continued…

Sorry for that delay, I just had to run to the toilet and puke because of this piece of crap. If we begin with looking at the vocals, then we face something that sounds quite similar to something Lemmy Klimister would sound like if he ever tried to do growling. And as this "Lemmy" guy does make his sounds, he thrust the noises out in short grunty sounds like someone with a retarded spech-centra that makes it only possible for him to express himself in thrusted rabble without the ability to controll either volume or articulation. The guitars then play something that sounds like three or four chords in the same order over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over in song after song after song after song after song after song after song until you're so fed up with it that you never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever want to hear this piece of shit again and put the CD in a rocketlauncher that launch it inside a garbage bag, which you then take outside and burn with a flamethrower. And don't ask me what's up with the bass player because it actually sounds as if Jill Daily has rented a Grizzly to make random growls instead of playing her instrument (but I actually believe that if someone were to play the bass, the grizzly would do a better job than Jill). The only instrument performance that isn't plain rubbish is the drums, played by some guy called Jason Foust (but it's not the Jason Foust that's vocalist in Exit East).

The 33 1/2 minutes or eleven tracks on this album is more or less the same thing over and over the whole time. This half an hour feels like a complete eternity that never ends, to me, and I've been turning off the album halfway a several times after something I've felt was hours of the same piece of shit repeated endless, only to find out what I've really wasted was not hours but something around a quarter of one hour. It's just that all there is on this album are retarded noises mixed with repetitive stringwork and non-existent melodies. I don't think this is good enough to stay put on square one, it moves backwards into squares in negative numbers and never really reach back in to the positive.

If you ask me to rank the worst albums I've reviewed in my almost ten years as a rock music reviewer the list will be full of celebrities like Devils Whorehouse, Chuck Schuldiners post-mortal-released albums, TotalSelfHatred, Kaoteon, Benighted, I Shalt Become and of course Denial Fiend. However, despite the de:impressing list, I'm pretty certain that this will still take the price as the worst fucking shit I've heard! If you find anything you like in this album you probably live in some sort of parallel universe compared to mine… or you suffer from the worst condition of tone deafness I've ever encountered. Because this is a fucking horrible album in every single way!

Please insert a clever punchline here: (sorry, I can't think of any)

HHHHHHH

Funerus Reduced to Sludge

Funerus
Reduced to Sludge