Hårda Skit
Ros Rus

Hard shit, constipation is what this band is named when you translate it to English. Strange thing is that any band can think of such a ridiculous band name, I guess analogies of toiletries are common, especially amongst writers knowing the Scandinavian languages like Norwegian which is what this band sings in. Another strange thing is that these Norwegian lyrics are sung by a band from Finland which has a distinctly different language to the other Scandinavian nations. Maybe that is the reason for the dumb name, then you look at the cover which is quite ugly and you begin to wonder if a visit to the lavatory wouldn’t be better than playing this EP.

It is black metal which is said to be atmospheric in nature, which means that it has some clean guitars amongst the ridiculously distorted ones that usually populates black metal songs. It is still the same grunty basementy stuff that is usually the case of the genre. The production is typically dreadful, the vocals are typically awful and croaky meaning that it sounds more or less like any black metal band of the so-called true nature out there. And the norwegian vocals (which I have to take their word for) is apparently an homage to the classic norwegian bands of the genre. Eleven minutes of playing time, eleven minutes of torture for anyone with normal hearing.

It sounds terrific, no of course I mean terrible, it sounds terrible. The two songs float together into a single stream of noise, nothing really interesting and nothing really good comes out of listening to these constipated guys. Perhaps that is why they sound like that, it is recorded in the lavatory when constipated. I don’t know, but I do know that not many will really like this, of course fans of the dreadful music called true black metal will most likely do but I doubt many of our readers will. I doubt we appeal to the targeted audience of these guys, they offer nothing new, nothing exciting, and nothing that they do sound particularly well made or good.

Flush it down the toilet then? Well, I doubt flushing CDs will be very popular amongst those working with filtering the stuff we flush down the toilet so maybe you should rather burn it or just toss it into the garbage. Of course, if you like it then you should just keep it but honestly I doubt many of you will like it so I advice you to not care about this EP. It is definitely not worth the time spent on it, it is quite awful.

HHHHHHH