Vomitchapel
The House Of The Lord Despoiled

About a year ago I reviewed the first release by Vomitchapel. It was called 'Damnatio Ad Bestias' and was one of my worst experience in my life as a reviewer. Since then I've gone through a couple of more vomit bags, but the Vomitchapel experience is still a low-water mark that's difficult to ignore as it's some sort of illustration of just how bad something can sound. And now they've released a second album, which is called 'The House Of The Lord Despoiled' and even though it's difficult to understand how it's possible - they've made an even worse album this time!

The record label says "The House of the Lord Despoiled' is a bestial, perverted attack on all that is holy.
A bulldozer attack of 10 sordid hymns to the flesh and the mockery of christ" and how they imagine that this would be a sales argument and something positive for the album goes beyond my understanding, but then satanic people are pretty odd and incomprehensible - kind of like other religious fanatics - so I'm not surpriced they say such a stupid thing either. And when you consider what a joke for an album they release it almost makes sense.

The album begins with a roar, which is a noise that then keeps howling throughout the entire album. The one man band has then added a carpet of dark and completely unmusical sounds or noises. I always go on a hunt throughout the Internet as I write about the albums I've received and this album is no exception. When you do this you often find a couple of really amusing statements from people and when I read about peoples opinions about this album something really caught my eye, which was some guy saying that the 27 minutes playing time was so negative that the whole album couldn't be considered as anything but a disappointment. I wonder what people thing when they say such a thing, but what makes this statement even more strange is how he thinks 27 minutes are too little (and not too much as I think) and that the album should have been longer. Now how anyone could ever wish for more of something like this goes beyond that little understanding some people say I have because this really sounds like shit!

I think the kind of audience that will be appealed by this is the same kind of people that goes to construction sites and tries to get as close to the pneumatic drill as possible so they can enjoy that lovely soundtrack. Or the kind of people that arrives at parties and then hides in the bathtub so they can hear the fair sound of vomiting for the rest of the night. And I can also imagine how people that like this goes jogging with the sound of barking dogs in their iPods.

I don't think there's anything of value on this album - at all - if you're a fan of music, regardless of which genre you prefer because what you get on this album is the kind of noises you get when you put a microphone next to your ass as you're having a shit. The people that will like this album is not people that like music or even care the least about it but people that's only after random satanic stuff and dark noises. This is neither death metal or black metal or in fact any kind of metal. This is garbage. It's a pile of mud compared to other kind of music that's bathtubs. This is dirty, stinking and bad for you - but as a music album it's completely idiotic, vile and wasted. My advice is to avoid it!